Looking at the Brighter Side

Working with Sales has taught me a lot of new things. Even help me see things in different perspectives. When I would usually complain about my life in general when struggles arise, I started to learn to look at the bright side of things. Trust me, this isn’t easy to do when I am struggling to get back on my feet after almost four months of maternity leave and I have a lot of catching up to do with my “numbers”. This is the main cause of my stress and when I start to feel all left up I just want to raise both my hands and scream surrender---- but NO. I shifted to Sales for one reason – to give the best I can offer to my children’s future and giving up means giving up on them.

So how do I manage to get up every morning after sleepless nights rearing to the one and half year old daughter Yani and to our three months old baby Yllac? I always start the day with a prayer. Yes, to the tune of Madonna’s Say a Little Prayer. I am not prayerful, let me tell you, my husband is and that’s one I am thankful every day. When I feel down with all the things that’s happening at work, I look forward to spending time with my husband (who teases me to no end but whom I feel secure and loved and I can go on with my endless bitching and complaints and still love me in spite all that!). I always thank the Lord that I married an imperfect individual like me BUT I definitely can say – I married a good man!

My precious bebes - Yena, Yani and Yllac

My children? Well, they are my priceless gifts and I really cannot imagine my life without them. When I feel low, I just look at them and feel am the richest human being on earth. I cannot believe I have so much love to give until I met them. With all the hats I wear in a day, the greatest and the sweetest to my ears are these three little creatures that call me with their tiny little voices – MOMMY!!

Change is good

There are so many things to share, but so little time to do so. If you have been here the past years, i'll tell you there has been a lot of things that's going on in our lives. This blog has seen my ups and downs, i have wrote about almost anything here, from my father and mother's health problems, my finding my true love, my pregnancies, my children and all the travels i had with my family BUT i have yet to write about the day i lost the man i loved the most, my father. I still get emotional and have yet to find courage writing about the day i lost a big part of my life. If i can hold myself even for a little while, i will write about that tragic day on his first year's death anniversary in August. That's if i can.

Anyway, i have been talking about change, now let me tell them one by one. My family has become bigger, now we have two girls and one boy. Yes, i gave birth (via CS for the 3rd time!) to a healthy baby boy last March. In April, husband has to shift from Finance to Sales, just like i did last year! Now we're both on the selling field. But he has to learn how to drive and is now driving going to work, and because he loves me that much, he drops me off in my work first and fetch me every single day.

When before, we would talk and sleep in the bus, now we have each other in his car every day, our moments to talk about everything and anything under the sun. With three kids at home, we hardly find time to do that at home. When the kids are sleep at night, we're both tired to still catch up on what happened the whole day. And husband has yet to finish his masteral class he started last year. To study and work at the same time is hard and i have to give that to husband. He has been under a lot of stress lately and even if he tells me everything, i still can feel how difficult it is for him - to be a newbie in Sales and to finish his MBA. What does a wife do? Support him in anyway i can.

Now we're embracing all these changes, well change is good. I know we'll go through a lot of things in the future but as long as we have each other we're going to make it through.

PBW: Good Health and Happiness

Happy Monday! I am putting up a happy face now to start the week right. Last weekend, husband and i got back to jogging and woke up early than our usual weekends. I guess we have to do it every saturday, waking up early means finishing all the house chores early too and i love it. I got more time to do my online stuffs.

Anyways that's husband resting a bit.. He is really serious with his exercises now.. ^_^

And me, resting a lot! Well, my only problem is my tummy and jogging is much easier than sit-ups, hihi

And yesterday, the most important woman in my life turns SWEET SIXTY! That's my mother with her 3 grandchildren. For my mother: wish you good health, long life and happiness.

How bout you? How was your weekend? Join us or click the badge below to see other weekenders. Happy Monday once again!!!

Happy Sentiments

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there.

Dont get me wrong, my mother love me most until now, my child too, i can feel it to my bones :). And regardless of all the hurt, i love her most to eternity! This i swear to God! But the scars and the promises of a family that i have since that fateful day i was born was lost the second i got married without them.

I’d like to think i have been a good daughter. Being a first born, i was poured in with lots of love and attention.. From then until now, i know i am deeply loved.

I remember my mother told me that when I decided to get married someday, she would not meddle in all decisions I would make. Whom I choose is my sole choice. My heart is my affair I have to deal on my own.

That was what she told me.


And why are we smiling like there will be no tomorrow on this photo??

Its because, i know deep down my heart that my mother loves my husband too!! It started the day Yena arrived, the moment when i have my own family too, when i was born a mother. I can see it in her eyes! She loves my husband! Yahoo!! It has been my prayer ever since, that for how much my mother loves me, she will too to my husband. Looks like it has been an answered prayer! Eveyone's at peace! Happy?! :)

Always worried

Last year was a tough year for me, my family and yobib's family.

June 2007, my father who was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes underwent a surgical operation on his right leg. Almost a month of stay at the hospital and with relatives not supportive enough, it was a chaos i can now smile recalling. My family passed this test with flying colors, with my father recuperating now and my mother acting as his full time nurse.

October 2007, i was alone on my wedding day and disowned by my mother a couple of hours later.

November 2007, two days apart my mother and papa, yobib's father suffered stroke. My mother with milder attack than papa. It was another fight that made each family closer. Though papa suffered another stroke january this year, both of them are getting into recovery. They are both feeling better and stronger now.

All this happened while i was pregnant with Yena!

I once told my officemate who is pregnant now not to worry a thing, sometimes when we feel so down and lost we thought we are the most wretched creature on earth. But there are situations worser than ours. I am a great worrier i tell you, but my husband consistently taught me not to, worrying will not help.

Yesterday, my grandmother from maternal side who is almost 90 years old was dignosed that her heart is getting larger. She is too thin that getting blood pressure is a failure. She always has a fever.

After his quarterly checkup, my father was about to undergo five laboratory tests. He is getting a hard time to pee, when he feels urinating nothing is coming out or if there is a spot of blood would come out. The doctor said it might be signs of prostate cancer.

I worry and i think a lot. I am lost in deep thoughts. Though i know worrying leads to nothing i just cant stop it, i am always worried. Now, If its not too much to ask, please help me pray. Let this be another test of faith me and my family can pass through.

Thank you so much.

Merrily we roll along

Weekends was high! We just let it rain, cause we couldnt stop it from pouring! :) Pedia visit and malling on saturday while sunday was the usual mass and the baptism of my sister's youngest son! Super tiring but FUN! FUN! FUN! :D

Saturday was yena's pedia visit and after that we were supposed to spend the day at manila with Daryl and the rest of the gang, but due to bad weather and for fear of yena getting sick again, we decided to just stay at home.

And even if it was raining cats and dogs on sunday mornings, we couldnt afford to be absent to our sunday service at our church. I really couldnt wait to see Yena singing with us during the mass.. :)

After the mass, it was me and Yena at our house with my ever extending family for the baptismal celebration of my sister's son. I would love hubby to be with us on every celebration but... and so on and so forth, this will be a sad part, kaya move forward! :(

With all the problems i have right now, i just cannot complain! Who would i dare say, i have my family with me and i am happy! As they say, you cannot have everything, kasi nga if you do.. WHERE WILL YOU PUT THEM???!! :p

Things arent always what they seem

"If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until sometime later... Things aren't always what they seem"

Nabasa ko yan sa blog ni Rica Peralejo. I admire her, all her posts were about God and His goodness. Pero di ito post for her, sorry. I am feeling down today pero di rin yun ang gusto kong isulat ngayon. Lol.

On Leave ako kahapon, HIB Vaccine ni Yena. Its another P1200 for just one shot. Pero di rin yun ang gusto kong isalaysay ngayon. Emote ako. Vacation mode pa ko kanina until a friend talked to me thru YM. Marami siyang tanong, she meant no offense but im hurt. It will always be hurting i guess.

i know i just have to wait, i know time will come that everything will be ok. i just wish that when that time comes, i can still see and feel it. forgive me for being negative, but i am not seeing it happening in the near future. so for the meantime i will just have to pray for more faith and courage in dealing with it.

a month after not blogging

ive been lazy sleeping this past few days.. hihi wish ko lang. tinatamad lang tlaga mag update ng blog.. forgive the preggy me for being so tamad to kiss and tell lately.. tsk tsk

26th berdey
hayun, natapos ang birthday ko at natanggap ang regalong inaasam asam ko (count now 1-2-3.. portable dvd!!) in my dreams!! hihih

i celebrated my birthday with college friends who dropped by and spent an evening with me and hubby. and the official cook, opkors my one and only.. hmmm yummmmy ang special spaghetti!! at ang best seller na fried chicken!! not to mention yung lechon paksiw na so delicious tlga even until the next day.. haaaay. so sweet of him to cooked for me on my birthday! i love u more for that my baby! ;) more than the portable dvd im asking you, you and yena are the greatest gifts na po kaya i'm fine.. my dvd can wait naman diba, u said so! hahah

yena's lolo and lola
sad ang end of november, si papa ni yobib at ang nanay ko ay halos sabay na naospital. si papa sa lasalleUMC at si nanay sa PGH. parehong sobrang taas ng blood pressure.. haaay. still pag health problem talga nakakasad.. i just hope and pray for good health tlaga for my big (mine and yobib's) family and sa small family namen ni yobib..

company christmas party
last night, christmas party namen.. at sosyal 5 years ago nang nagkaron ng company wide party ang eastern ha! kya naman chochyal tlga ang feeling ngayon.. masaya at masaya in all.. :)

as usual hindi ako swerte sa mga raffle.. pero may pamaskong handog naman kaya hapi pa rin.. solve na ang gamot ng mga lolo at lola ni yena.. ;)

kahapon rin before magparty dumaan ako sa OB ko, and she told me na malapit na ko.. waaaaah isang buwan, im scared na po. aray ko. masakit daw manganak.. at the same time im so excited na rin.. sa wakas makikita na namen si yena.. :) :) :)

wait....

guess who? may napadaang ms. universe sa party huh?? hulaan mo?? hahahah

light at the end of the tunnel

naalala ko na naman ang laging sinasabi ng previous boss ko everytime the company experiences a big problem, he says 'we will see light at the end of the tunnel'. naimagine ko, tren yun na matagal naglakbay sa ilalim ng tunnel at parating na sa maliwanag na istasyon.. akalain mong naisip ko yun? ang babaw ko alam ko. nakakaiyak. LOL

nung nagkasakit, naospital at naoperahan ang tatay ko pakiramdam ko, im the loneliest person in the whole world. bukod pa sa mataas ang bill ng ospital at doctors fee, mahal din ang maintenance ng gamot at pagkain niya everyday. being the bread winner of the family, di ko to kakakayanin.. i thought. pero asan na ba ako ngayon?

heto, im 3 years bound to chain of credit. opo. malaki ang utang ko sa paligid. ika nga ng friend ko, in money and in kind. name it! hihih. i still have the nuts to laugh. eh ala nga naman umiyak ako noh?

eh yun nga. anung bright side sa mga pangyayari lately sa buhay ko? let me name it..

una, nung naospital si tatay, yobib got the chance to "be close" to them.. ang importante makita nila at makilala ng lubusan si yobib. which will never happen pag sa bahay lang.. sniff. nung kelangan ng blood donor, yobib offered his precious blood. basta i yobib and i see it as a positive sign, magiging close na sila ng family ko! yahoo.

pangalawa, di ako naka attend ng sportsfest at team building namen sa batangas. ang sad kasi di ko nakabonding ang mga officemates ko pero on the positive side..eto? explain ko. muse ako ng finance team, so that means i have to wear the skimpiest and sexiest i could ever imagine, na di ko pa nagawa sa buong buhay ko.. so ayoko. at no choice ako dahil martial law at kelangan ko lng daw sumunod. at dahil nasa ospital ako, di ako nkarampa! yipeee! at sobrang physical daw ng sportsfest at team building and to think na by that time di ko pa alam na preggy ako- sobrang kitikiti ko pa naman- so malamang wala na akong pinagbubuntis ngayon. eh gusto ko na nga ng baby eh!! see? positive?

pangatlo, nakilala ko ang mga taong tunay na nagmamahal.. marami sila at forever ko silang itatatak sa puso ko.

i'm back!

nakalabas kami ng PGH kahapon, after 17 long days, at last we're back home in cavite. my father undergone operation and is now well recuperating with my mother as his nurse! now my mind is filled with thoughts on how to repay people who helped us make it through..

to all the people who helped me and my family in this so trying times, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much!

this is the moment in my life, where i am truly blessed to know that there are people who really care for me and my family.. and sadly, got to know those who were not.

keep still

i just hang up my phone, i talked to my sister Aya, and she told me our father has to go to a hospital. To Philippine General Hospital (PGH) or Trece Martires Hospital.

I cried.

Its been three weeks or more that we monitored his condition. My father is diabetic. When he has wounds it will not heal fast. Early May, he had a pimple and it made his face swore, his right eye blurred. Now he has swollen foot. He cannot walk. When i learned this, i hurried home and we have him checked to his doctor. With lots of medicines prescribed and urgently following all of the doc's advise, i am so dismayed he is not getting well. i am so sad seeing him so thin, he was advised to eat a little amount of carbo. he eats oatmeal during breakfast, lunch and dinner. he would eat fruits (6 pcs of grapes the most or 1 banana a day!) and one slice of wheat bread for merienda. again he is not getting any better. i am hurt the most when i see him in pain. i just want him to get well. i know he will be. i am not losing hope.

my father will turn 68 this september and if not being diabetic, he is very strong and so hard working. i must admit he's my favorite and i love him so much. i am now into thinking of taking a leave here at office and be by his side 24/7 if he will be confined to a hospital. i will move mountains just to see that he will be WELL. my faith in God is keeping still, i know he will heal my father.

please, if it is not too much to ask, please pray for my father that he may be well sooner than soon.

coolet!

Ayesha Elaine aka "EYA"My latest craziness,

she repeatedly calls me mommy.

Lolo's favorite little girl and she call him uwa,

Lola Mamita's pride even when she also call her uwa,

Tito lui's kiti kiti playmate,

our little baby doll at home and

her mama and papa's lovey dovey!

I love her so! Wish i will have one super bibo kid like her soon! while waiting i will shower you with all my love my little angel on earth..

Miss you baby eya, wait until saturday and i will be home soon, mommy loves you! mwah

pretty.. sick! not sick and tired! :D

it has been a roller coaster ride with the birthday boy yobib (or birthmonth!heheh) coz we've been swimming a lot these past few weekends.. from swimmings and taking care of the sick me.. with or without water, having to take lots of baths or no bath allowed at all.. pool, beach.. i love them :)

first stop was at villa luz silang, an overnight swimming with the buddies of the som choir for the double celebration of the birthdays of jaime and my yobib.. no pix yet from jaime (ei jameng! hapi berdey!).. be patient with what i got on that night!

beach at ternate was the second stop! the beach was like i expected it to be, not so white sand and with rocks that would tickle ur barefoot! a nice place, clean beach, amazing people.. indeed i learn every place is beautiful when ur in the arms of the man who loves you!! almost paradise really coz im with the man i love and who loves me most!

i was sick last week. so sick, pretty sick. huhuh. but with cares and love of the people around me, i am now feeling quiet well Ok! thanks guyz for giving me noodles soup and isolating me at dinner! now i am getting thinner because of you! when u cant join them at dinner, you know ur safe! heheheh. i am not overeating (opkors!) but melon, arlyn and cleo do it all the time!! peace!

and i hope to not say hello to being absent from work again and use my SL.. ayoko na magkasakit, bawal magkasakit!

Pretty!! muka bang kagagaling lang sa sakit??! :) baby yobib always tells me i look like lou gee here, well if he's kidding, it's just fine.. and if he's serious, thanks baby! u see beautigul things when you look at the one you love! oppps. naniwala na ko! hahah. layo kaya kay lou gee! adik ba ko?! heheh. and im glad april is over, the birthmonth is over too! hehehjoke! i love april! eh i love yobib! i really do! Happy Happy birthday baby!!! Tanda mo na! :)

~ 0 ~

and to my mother who just turned 57 last april 18, happy happy birthday mother dear! hope you liked my gift! of course you do, hahah!.. you always wanted him around lately. seeing ur tears fell for that surprise was enough.. oh how i love surprises!! surpises! surprises!

and see this.. my fave niece is so lovingly addicted to her dora mini-swimming-pool-chuva, i dnt know what to call it eh! isnt she like me?? mini me?? pose kung pose! :D

some of my favorite things

haven't blog lately.. it has been a super busy week. LOL! as if i am that busy.. truth be told, i am just having my super 'damat days' :)

ending of march

our march ends at Baguio. A friend invites us to spend the weekends at baguio and since it is part of our summer getaway agenda plus MY YOBIB hasnt beeen there, we decided to come along! or rather to be tagged along.. :)

first day in baguio runs so smoothly and we had LOTS of pictures to prove it, like these...

but the second and last day became so emotional, i thought i would lose my someone i love so dear.. huhuh. thanks heavens, all ends well.. we went home and everything's back into place.

since the last day became so down (though it never -i repeat -it NEVER ruined our stay in baguio), we never had any pasalubongs or any kind to give away.. its as if we werent there! hah! nice thing melon and ama were so patient in taking us pictures like these.. and the jumps! hahah. so hard to perfect!! pictures coming ssoooon! :D

new love

i love u but i have to let u go.. i love u for all the times we had shared.. u capture the very me and now ur into somebody's arms.. and me into new love too! goodbye my nokia! i love my new motorola MORE and we baptized it with a very cutey name.. niko moto v3i! :)

and my moto has a twin love.. the boyfriend's yobib noki 6151! sweetness!!

last day of work

i really thought my last day of work would be maundy thursday, me and my officemate decided to take long ot the other night.. so 2 hrs before maudny thursday we almost finish our report and that made us not to report to work on thursdays! sigh! buti na lng!!

24 dvd marathon & moto addiction

i just finished season 2 of 24 over the holy week. tama ba namang pagtitika yun? im bad. tsk tsk. next week we will start with season 3! whew. im excited!!

and because the moto is new.. the people in the house were so addicted to picture taking!! and here's some of them showing off my sister, cousins, niece and nephew.. chempre bidang bida ang cute niece kong si iya na favorite si jollibee!!

bday boy

and my only brother is celebrating his birthday on april 9 araw ng kagitingan.. happy happy birthday louie!! dont need to tell you this, but you are really one of my very very favorite here on earth! i love you!

im breaking the rules!

being an obedient daughter, i, most of the time follow what my parents want for me.. as they say mother knows best (true!) and so id like to think i am a 99% "masunuring anak" to them.

being an underdog elder sister, i would always make it a point to top list my beloved sister's wants..

being a loving ate to our bunso, anything that i can provide i will gladly give it to him with arms wide open..

i'd like to think i am giving them what they want from me.. coz that's what they deserve, coz that would make them happy! what they ask from me, i will always (if not always) give in..

but some things change.not my love for them, not my being obedient to them, change! not even my heart ever denied anything i can offer them..

something (most important thing- i think) change within me..

i am NOW following my heart much to the disappointment of my mother and my sister! sad. sigh. sniff.

i followed my heart.. i listened much to what my heart beats as it told me to obey what it really felt. i am following my heart.. i am following what i am feeling.. i feel im falling.. i fell. i feel im inlove. i felt love. i am loved. he loves me. i love him.

others say it was a revenge. while for me it is simply being ME. i felt it and i simply obeyed it. they said i broke the rules. i broke the norms. for whatever sense they like to call it.. am i being stubborn following what my heart dictates me to do?

i always wish my family and my love of my life would be together even for a day. i wish it will not be just a wish! id like it sooner than soon. please!

i know i am not breaking anything. or if i did, im glad i did it for fairness to everyone concerned. if that's what they want to call it... YES! im breaking the rules.. im breaking norms! just to follow what my heart feels... my heart feels for yobib.. and so im with him!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH OF US BABY..

i love you! so much!!

Araw ni Iya!

(Niko, Iya and Aya)

(L-R; Niko, Iya and Aya; Standing: Lui)

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY to my cutest niece, Iya! Love yah love yah ssooo soooo much! mwaaaaah

a raisin is a grape that worries too much

napapansin ko, nitong mga nakaraang araw masyado akong madaling madepress.. (depression?- anu nga ba to sa tagalog?) heheeh. kidding aside, true talaga.. dati na kong madaling umiyak at malungkot kapag nasagi ang maramdaming puso. pero ibang lebel na ng kaemotan eto. di ko na macarry minsan.

naalala ko tuloy ung time na sobrang down ako, at walang makausap. impit ang pag iyak ko sa opisina, wala akong masabihan ng problema that time.. that was june 15, 2005.

bago pumasok, napansin kong may nakaipit na dilaw na papel sa kikay kit ko, naisip ko sulat marahil yon. ah, galing sa kapatid kong si aya. emotera rin yun, once in a blue moon nga lang. nakalagay sa sulat "ate basahin mo pag nasa office ka na -aya". at dahil hindi ako masunurin sa instruction, wala pang ilang segundo natapos ko ng basahin ang mala-tele-nobelang sulat na iyon.

bumagsak ang mundo ko. sa bus pa lang papasok, bumabaha na ako ng luha. paulit ulit kong binabasa ang sulat.. paulit ulit ko ring sinasabing nananaginip lang ako, hindi totoong nangyayari to.. magigising ako mamaya at ok na ako.

pero hindi. totoo ang lahat. masakit. mabigat sa dibdib. parang gusto kong sumigaw. maraming tanong, walang sagot. pakiramdam ko nag iisa ako. gusto kong mapag isa. wala akong maramdaman. basta umiiyak ako. punong puno ng pag aalala ang puso ko. panu pag nalaman ni momi at dadi? panu ko sasabihin sa kanila? mahina pa naman mga puso nila.. baka tulad ko, di rin nila kayananin. sa isip ko kinakausap ko ang kapatid ko, baket mo ginawa to? baket ngayon pa? baket? baket? at baket?

tuwing binabalikan ko ang alaalang yon napapaiyak ako. napapaiyak sa sobrang sama ng loob at sa sobrang kaligayahan. masama ang loob ko hindi dahil sa binigo ako ng kapatid ko kundi dahil sa maidudulot niyang sakit kay momi at dadi, yung hiling ni momi na diploma.. ang tanging hiling niyang diploma bago kami mag sipag asawa.. hindi niya na ba maibibigay? sobrang nalugmok ako. ang tatlong taon ng pagbubuno ng mapatapos siya sa kolehiyo ay walang kinahantungan.. nakakapanlata.

pero higit dun, nalaman kong napakaswerte ko sa mga magulang ko.. masayang malungkot. pero lamang ang saya..

ang sobrang pag aalala sa mga mangyayari.. napalitan ng pagbubunyi. ang kinakatakot kong paghaharap ng isang prodigal daughter sa kanyang magulang, parang isang teleseryeng nagbabaga ng iyakan.. ng pagmamahalan. wow!sobrang bait nila, with open arms and arms reaching..niyakap nila ang kapatid ko pabalik.. mahal talaga nila si aya. mahal ko si aya.

ngayon ay walong buwan na ang munting anghel.. hindi matatawaran ang ngiting nakikita ko sa mga mata ng lolo at lola sa bahay..mahal na mahal nila ang kanilang unang apo.. at mahal na mahal ko rin ang munting batang ito.. ang nagbibigay ng ibang kiliti sa amin.. si IYA.

para kay aya at iya ng buhay ko. love u both! mwah

madali talaga akong magworry sa mga bagay bagay.. maliit man o malaki. hobby ko na ang mag isip at mag alala. natanong ko tuloy.. "raisin na ba ako?"