Test of Faith

I shared to few friends on how the Lord has been testing my faith this past few weeks and she said that yes, I am fighting battles left and right but the best thing for me to do is to surrender it all to Him. I cried. She’s right!

The battles started the day we arrived from our bohol getaway. My mother told me about my father’s condition, he has type 2 diabetes by the way. She said he has been complaining of tummy ache and had fever the days we were in Bohol and his urine has turned to color red. My mother, who seldom complains if she’s sick, was also sick that time. So both of them got a checkup and the lab tests showed that my father has UTI (urinary track infection) and his sugar has soared to 200+. The doctor gave medication and after a week my father’s sugar has normalized and the UTI faded away.

But we learned that my mother in law’s mother was dying in Kidapawan. So without a second thought, we booked for husband and MIL’s earliest flight to Davao the next day.

Just last week, my mother complained of a severe pain on her stomach. We sent her to a doctor near our place and the ultrasound showed that she has gallbladder stone and a hepatic cyst on her liver. The doctor advised for an operation. But I need to bring her to another doctor for a second opinion, so I brought her to the same doctor that took care of her and my father when they got sick last year 2007.

She’s advised to get a full abdomen CT scan and a lot of laboratory tests. The results of which make us nervous now. She had her CT scan and lab tests at UPMC last Monday. Even if I wanted to fast track everything, the doctors are having their holiday leave and will be back on January 3 and the waiting is killing me. It will be known on the first week of January 2011 if she has to undergo operation or not and the doctor said we have to prepare an estimate of P100,000.

The next day, we learned that my MIL’s mother in Kidapawan passed away.

When all this things are going on, I feel like a lost child asking for directions. Why all these things are happening to me and my family?! I know I should not be questioning His will. I don’t complain when the blessings are pouring in so what’s making me question God now that I am bewildered?

I know God won’t give me trials that I cannot bear. I have been through battles like these three years ago and did I ask the Lord on why He seems like forsaking me? I am LOVED by him and I know HE wanted me to go through this to know that He is there. That I cannot be a superwoman to handle all this alone, that I should not worry much and that I should surrender all these to Him.

And this test of faith, I shall pass with Him.