i'm back!

nakalabas kami ng PGH kahapon, after 17 long days, at last we're back home in cavite. my father undergone operation and is now well recuperating with my mother as his nurse! now my mind is filled with thoughts on how to repay people who helped us make it through..

to all the people who helped me and my family in this so trying times, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much!

this is the moment in my life, where i am truly blessed to know that there are people who really care for me and my family.. and sadly, got to know those who were not.

dear baby,

tinawagan ko office ni daryl, so busy ata sila ni arlyn kaya si cleo ang nakausap ko.. gusto ko lng ilabas nararamdaman ko ngayon. feeling ko kasi any minute sasabog na ko.

nagkwentuhan kami tungkol sa pagpupuyat niya. tinanong niya ko kung ok na tayo. sabi ko mukang malabo na. galit ka. sabi ni johnny ganun daw talaga reaction ng lalake, tulad mo di rin siya papayag kung si cleo ang nasa katayuan ko. sabi ni cleo kung pwede bang umayaw na ako dun sa muse na un. sabi ko talaga namang ayoko, wala lang akong magawa. its like martial law here. dahil lang dun nag aaway tayo.

as of now, naghihintay lang ako ng text from trece, dun nila dinala si tatay. i am so hopeful na di malala lagay niya. sabi kasi ng doktor nia dalhin na siya sa hospital to undergo series of lab tests. sinabi ko sa'yo noon na ayokong dalhin dun si tatay kasi nakakatakot baka kung anung iturok nila.. basta natatakot ako.

di kita matawagan, nahihiya ako sa'yo. tuwing may tampuhan tayo at natatakot ako, isang tawag ko lang sa'yo darating ka agad. now, pinanghihinaan na ko ng loob pero di ko magawang tawagan or iemail ka. nasanay lang ako na lagi kang nandyan pag kailangan kita. siguro dapat kayanin ko tong mag isa.

gusto ko ng umuwe ngayon, gusto ko ng makita tatay ko. im such a crying baby. kasi ngayon tulo ng tulo ang luha ko. basta gusto ko lang umuwe ngayon at mayakap tatay ko. makitang ok siya. pero di ko magawa.

hirap ng ganito, may tampuhan tayo.. nasa hospital pa si tatay.

nakakalungkot. nakakaubos ng luha. pero kakayanin ko to. alam kong kahit nagtatampo ka mahal mo pa rin ako, sabi mo pa kahit na anung mangyari yayakapin mo pa rin ako.. ganun din ako sa'yo!

sana magkasama tayo ngayon at pinapalakas mo loob ko..

keep still

i just hang up my phone, i talked to my sister Aya, and she told me our father has to go to a hospital. To Philippine General Hospital (PGH) or Trece Martires Hospital.

I cried.

Its been three weeks or more that we monitored his condition. My father is diabetic. When he has wounds it will not heal fast. Early May, he had a pimple and it made his face swore, his right eye blurred. Now he has swollen foot. He cannot walk. When i learned this, i hurried home and we have him checked to his doctor. With lots of medicines prescribed and urgently following all of the doc's advise, i am so dismayed he is not getting well. i am so sad seeing him so thin, he was advised to eat a little amount of carbo. he eats oatmeal during breakfast, lunch and dinner. he would eat fruits (6 pcs of grapes the most or 1 banana a day!) and one slice of wheat bread for merienda. again he is not getting any better. i am hurt the most when i see him in pain. i just want him to get well. i know he will be. i am not losing hope.

my father will turn 68 this september and if not being diabetic, he is very strong and so hard working. i must admit he's my favorite and i love him so much. i am now into thinking of taking a leave here at office and be by his side 24/7 if he will be confined to a hospital. i will move mountains just to see that he will be WELL. my faith in God is keeping still, i know he will heal my father.

please, if it is not too much to ask, please pray for my father that he may be well sooner than soon.

the red flag is up!

when the red flag is up, he's checking MY emails
when it is so, you have to update your blog to his satisfaction

the red flag is up because he wants you to do his RULE
the rule is, NO to that non-sense "muse issue"
he knew i also hate the idea of that "muse thing!"
i am not muse-material, i know.
and i am not being gullible when all of "them" telling me i should be the "ONE"
when what im feeling and what i am is not the "ONE"

but what will i do?!
i am in a situation where, when i say NO!, they'd say GO!
when i cry NO! they would all still say GO!
it's as if i have no choice but to GO! when i really DON'T want to!

he said choose,
is it ME or THEM?
are YOU and them by any chance in same level?!!
YOU ought to know i will choose you, always.
and THEM is never a choice! you know that!
but the situation IS!

I just want you to support me, even if WE both hate the idea!
I just thought you will support me all the way
please dont tell me i am wrong.

when all these things mellowed down,
i will embrace you still with arms wide open,
i love you still, for always.

coolet!

Ayesha Elaine aka "EYA"My latest craziness,

she repeatedly calls me mommy.

Lolo's favorite little girl and she call him uwa,

Lola Mamita's pride even when she also call her uwa,

Tito lui's kiti kiti playmate,

our little baby doll at home and

her mama and papa's lovey dovey!

I love her so! Wish i will have one super bibo kid like her soon! while waiting i will shower you with all my love my little angel on earth..

Miss you baby eya, wait until saturday and i will be home soon, mommy loves you! mwah